028 [Action/Voice]

[fabrecation]

[It's been a bit of a depressing time for Luke. Xion has her memories again, and everything's been okay - amazing, really, with her... but so many people whom Luke has grown close to have left. His mother, Yuri, Zack, Noel... Guy. For someone who always gets so attached to his friends, it ended up hurting a great deal, more than a lot of other things he's dealt with in this world.

Only days ago, he went to finally get his death penalty removed. It took him a while to recover, and a while before he could get food in his mouth without wanting to throw up, but finally, today, he seems to be okay.

He celebrated during the day with a meal that he could finally taste. It was his favorite, in fact - chicken parmesan. And he ended up shutting his eyes and savoring it, having spent several months without it since it had such a weird texture without taste. It made him truly happy.

And now, in the evening, for the first time ever, he goes to the bar with the intent to get himself his first drink. It's not like he wants to get drunk or anything, but it's merely out of curiosity. A couple months before, Zack had made him a drink, his first one, and Luke did his best to hide that he actually couldn't taste it. Now, though, he wants to see what it was like, more for the memory of Zack grinning and egging him on than anything.

So, once he makes it there, he'll sit at the bar and wait, his gaze occasionally going towards the wall. What was the name of that drink again...?


Later, Luke decides that sitting around and moping isn't going to help him with the pain of missing someone. So, instead, he turns to the journal. ... Now to figure out how to word this properly.]

Um. [Good start. Sort of.] I have something to ask all of you. It's kind of a stupid question, but...

I don't know. Everyone here probably misses someone, so... How do you deal with it? When it gets... bad.

... I'm sorry, I know it's stupid to ask. Just - Forget I said anything, all right?

Uh... [Well, now what does he talk about, with him trying to change the subject and all?] Anyone here play music? The ones I don't see in school, anyway.

[Much better.]

Comments

[action]

[dissonates]

[Whoa, replica in the bar; that's rare. Asch lifts a brow at him from across the counter, pausing in the middle of drying a freshly-washed glass. Against all odds, he's still working here, go figure.]

I'm surprised to see you here.

[There's a question in his gaze that is left unasked- he'd known Luke had disappeared for a while for his death penalty, but he hasn't seen him since, so he's curious if the other is alright. He looks fine, but he also knows that they have a habit of hiding such things from the general public.]

[action]

[fabrecation]

Yeah... I'm surprised I'm here.

[Luke meets Asch's gaze and, after spending so long here, and with his original, he's able to pick up what that means. He holds it for a little longer because honestly, there are more things wrong than what he wants to admit. But after that pause, he gives a weak smile, if only because it hurts to smile much wider, and rubs at the side of his jaw.]

It still hurts a little. I couldn't even eat for a while... But I'm fine now. I actually got to taste something. You'd think doing something like that wouldn't be anything special, but...

[Voice]

[distressedude]

...I don't think it's a stupid thing to ask at all.

[Though it's certainly a sombering topic. He answers despite Luke's attempt to change the subject.]

I try to remind myself that in most cases, it's better for someone not to be trapped here. [...] And when that doesn't work, I remember that people arrive here just as often as they leave, and there's always a chance we'll be able to meet again. Regardless of whether they remember me the second time around or not, there's nothing stopping us from starting new memories here together.

[Which, in the end, is just another thing he tells himself to make the pain go away. He smiles in spite of himself.]

But I guess there's a bit of a contradiction in that, isn't there?

[Voice]

[fabrecation]

[It was a stupid thing to ask, because he already feels guilty, and even a little dumb. He doesn't want to remind people of what they've lost, and he doesn't want people to think he doesn't miss any of his other friends who left.

It's just... so many left at once. It's better to feel lonely than indulge in the selfish feeling of being abandoned.]

I guess so... But it's still a good way to think of it. Still... if they come back and they don't remember anything it's... it's like...

[And he trails off there, expression set in a light cringe while he looks away and rests a hand on the back of his neck.

Because it's a lot like it's a new person. And he's suddenly struck with wondering if this what it was like for his family and friends back home, when he was first brought to the manor.]

... No, that's a bad way to think of it. It... hurts, I guess.

[voice]

[failguardian]

[Yeahhhhhh no. No forgetting going on here.]

You miss Guy, don't you? [She does too, and Luke and Guy are so much closer than she is with Guy.]

[voice]

[fabrecation]

... Yeah.

[Among others, but him leaving hit him almost as hard as the departure of his mother. Almost, because nothing could equate to the pain of his mother leaving, even though he knew it was so much better for her in Auldrant.]

I know I'll see him again. But... I don't know.

[Voice]

[thefinaljedi]

I think of all the people I've met here.

[Been a while, Luke...have another Luke]

It's hardly a stupid thing to think about. One can't help but think about it.

[Voice]

[fabrecation]

Yeah, but...

You'd think I'd be used to it by now, or just... asking something everyone else already knows. [There's a small, bitter smile as he looks down at the table.] I'm always doing something like that.

[weakahoshi]

Um. Sometimes I cry. But I know Mother-sama wouldn't want me to cry, so I try to think of something to do that would have made her happy.

[fabrecation]

Really? I mean - I don't think there's anything wrong with crying, but what would've made your mom happy?

Voice are heart speeches annoying yet?

[heartisabattleground]

[Sora hasn't had to experience this pain yet. After all, he was the one who forgot. But he can understand the pain of the loss of a friendship and a friend you'd never get to see again.

But by KH logic Sora knows that this pain is only temporary when he remembers a few things.]

It's sad when friends go and we can't see them when we want. But, in the end they never really leave us. They're always with us in our hearts. We make connections with them and when those connections are made they can't ever be broken.

Even if we forget someone that connection is still somewhere deep in our hearts so we never really lose anyone.

But that's what I think.

Voice - naaaah i thrive on heart speeches

[fabrecation]

[That sure sounds familiar. Xion says things like that sometimes. Heh... She really can be a lot like her original.

And while Luke's taken a lot of it to heart, there's a bit he's still a little skeptical on. He can't really help it, coming from a world like Auldrant.]

I know they're always in our hearts. I don't think I could ever forget the people I've met, except...

Those people who come back without their memories... What if they never remember? I was here before, and I still can't remember anything from back then.

voice

[risingwinds]

Well, I just remind myself that, no matter where they are, my friends and I are always connected. And as long as I think about 'em every once in a while, it's almost like they're here with me.

And you never know when somebody'll come back again! Just when you're about to lose hope, they could pop up outta the blue.

[He knows it's highly sentimental, but that's just the way Ven thinks about the world.]

voice

[fabrecation]

[Mm... It's just hard to think they're "here with him" when he can't really see them, or hear them, or touch them. He thinks that, but he doesn't voice it, as he doesn't really want to shoot down Ven's advice. So, Luke just focuses on something else instead.]

Yeah, maybe... But what if they don't remember you anymore? It's like everything you did with them is just... gone.

[Voice.]

[notevenfate]

Guess it depends on the person. [She doesn't exactly sound thrilled with the notion.]

Known religious sorts that got some comfort outta thinkin people were in a betta' place.

[Voice.]

[fabrecation]

... I don't like religion very much, but some places are better than this place. Not everyone wants to go back, or... can go back. But still.

[He quirks his lips up a bit.] Obviously, I'm not that kind of person, or I'd be feeling better a long time ago.

[voice]

[generalflirt]

Well, if I were you, I might use the lips of my gorgeous girlfriend as a tonic for the loneliness, eeeh?

[...He's being irreverent again. He said he wouldn't be mean to Luke, yes, but he can still tease]

[voice]

[fabrecation]

[...

...

Maybe he should be more annoyed. Maybe he shouldn't be as amused as he is by that.

But whatever. Much as he tries to fight it, he still feels his lips quirk up, thankfully weak enough that his jaw doesn't start hurting again.]

That does help a lot, actually. But I can't just kiss her all the time, right?

[voice]

[falenandawn]

It's not stupid to ask at all. Like you said, everyone here probably misses someone.

[Both those back in their worlds and those they cared about that had left here. Luceti was a unique sort of place in some ways, when it came to that.]

I hold onto the memories, myself. In a place like this, that's the important thing, isn't it? And when it comes to some people I've known, I'm happy knowing they are likely better off, safer and back where they belong.

[Some people. Not all. But that was another thing entirely.]

[voice]

[fabrecation]

I try to tell myself that, too.

[It's certainly the case with his mother. Now there won't have to be an initial panic when she gets sick, seeing how there were only a limited amount of the Rugnican Death Cap growing around here. She won't have to worry about her children or see them so hurt and struggling against a greater force. She won't have to be kidnapped or experimented on, or anything of the sort.

But still...]

But I miss them sometimes. And memories aren't really... enough, when that happens. After that I just end up feeling kind of... selfish.

[voice]

[drawnbythesword]

It's not stupid at all. We all have people we miss, Luke. [There's a pause on his end.]

...I have people I miss everyday. Some of them I won't ever get to see again. ...It hurts, knowing that. I can't say there's really a "right" way to deal with that. I just try to remember the times I shared with those people and the impact they had on me. Even if I can't ever see them again, they still mattered in my life, and my life would be different if I hadn't met them.

That's why, the best thing I can do is just keep on living, both for their sake and mine.

[voice]

[fabrecation]

[Both for their sake and mine...

It's good advice. Luke should really keep it in mind, for though he's gotten a lot better, sometimes, he still has a rather poor view on his life and the meaning of it as well as its worth.]

What if those memories just... end up hurting? It's not always like that, but lately... [He trails off, and he lifts his hand to run through his hair. Lately, it's just gotten worse.]

[Action] - 1/2

[bubblywishes]

[It's the usual, bussy kind of day at the bar. Norma's flitting from table to table taking orders and serving others their drinks and meals with the practiced ease of a true waitress, though with a bit of a twirl or a spring in her step as well. She'd like to actually be the one making the drinks and not just serving them, but...ah well. Maybe another time, when she's older or something.

Either way, she's just about to head back with a tray of empty glasses to be washed when out of the corner of her eyes she sees a familiar face.]

Hey, aren't you supposed to be work--

[Action] - 2/2

[bubblywishes]

[Ho. Ly. Crap.

Brb, almost dropping that try out of sheer WUDDAFUQ.]

Wha--Chuckles, what did you do to your hair?!

[voice]

[seleniahymn]

[... Idiot.]

You never forget them, because it doesn't change the meaning of shared memories.

[voice]

[fabrecation]

... Yeah, I know.

[His voice is quiet, though there seems to be a smile in it. She's the one who taught him that.]

But what do you do when those memories become painful? I don't want to forget them, I just want to know how to... I don't know. Make it so that I don't feel like this.

[Voice]

[lostinmyway]

It is not a stupid question. It is an important one.

[Even though she currently has her memories back, she still sounds gentle when she speaks. How could she not, with a question such as this?]

Allow yourself your sadness, but do not be swallowed by it. Acknowledging this feeling is important, for it is yet another part of the love you feel for the ones you miss. Think of a memory you treasure.

[Her voice becomes gentler still.] And then let go.

[Voice]

[fabrecation]

[... It's awfully soothing somehow, hearing her voice like that. He's a little calmed by it, even if he doesn't really know her except in passing, mostly thanks to Asch.]

Let go? But... how do I do that, without letting go of the memory?

voice;

[gleamed]

[She will answer both questions. Because while he diverted from the first, she feels it's important to answer, anyway.]

When I miss someone, I just think about how they'd want me to be happy with or without them.

And I like to sing and play the guitar. I'd love to learn more instruments, though.

voice;

[fabrecation]

With or without them...

[That is true. He knows that, out of everyone he's met and cared for and ultimately had to hear of their departure, not one of them would want him to mope around like this. They'd want him to be happy. And he knows it, he does, it's just... it's hard.]

... Uh - Really, the guitar? [Because the change of subject is welcome, and it seems to instantly bring his mood back up a little.] I've been wanting to try that out. When did you learn?

[Voice]

[knightofratatosk]

[This is a subject Emil is very familiar with.]

I just try to think about all of the good memories that I have with that person, because even if they're gone, the memories aren't going to go anywhere. They'll still be there in your heart.

[Voice]

[fabrecation]

Mm... I know. It's what makes you who you are and what shapes that friendship you had. Those shared memories.

[But...] What if it just hurts to think about those memories?

action;

[fourteen]

[ She finds him because she... well. She's looking for him. She'd noticed he'd disappeared - she doesn't know why, but she has a hunch - but she doesn't locate him during the day. If only because she just misses him.

By the time she finds him in the bar she's starting to get kind of concerned. Where is he....? What's he doing? Is he okay? He wasn't kidnapped, was he? There weren't any signs of a struggle...

And there he is. Sitting at the bar, looking distant and lonely. The sight breaks her heart, and she approaches him quietly. ]

Hey.

action;

[fabrecation]

[He tenses a little at her voice, merely out of surprise, because Luke wasn't expecting her to look for him. Jeez, did he worry her? Some boyfriend he is...

Because of that, he relaxes soon after, and he pulls the glass that previously held the drink he had like he's a little self-conscious. After all, he's never had a drink before that, save for one time that does not count, and why would he, unless he was bothered by something?

But he doesn't hide it totally, and he turns his head to smile at her. It's a little weak and tired, but genuine all the same.]

Hey. Did I worry you...?