[replica model] • LUKE FON FABRE (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fabrecation) wrote2012-12-14 12:05 am
fabrecation) wrote2012-12-14 12:05 am
028 [Action/Voice]
[It's been a bit of a depressing time for Luke. Xion has her memories again, and everything's been okay - amazing, really, with her... but so many people whom Luke has grown close to have left. His mother, Yuri, Zack, Noel... Guy. For someone who always gets so attached to his friends, it ended up hurting a great deal, more than a lot of other things he's dealt with in this world.
Only days ago, he went to finally get his death penalty removed. It took him a while to recover, and a while before he could get food in his mouth without wanting to throw up, but finally, today, he seems to be okay.
He celebrated during the day with a meal that he could finally taste. It was his favorite, in fact - chicken parmesan. And he ended up shutting his eyes and savoring it, having spent several months without it since it had such a weird texture without taste. It made him truly happy.
And now, in the evening, for the first time ever, he goes to the bar with the intent to get himself his first drink. It's not like he wants to get drunk or anything, but it's merely out of curiosity. A couple months before, Zack had made him a drink, his first one, and Luke did his best to hide that he actually couldn't taste it. Now, though, he wants to see what it was like, more for the memory of Zack grinning and egging him on than anything.
So, once he makes it there, he'll sit at the bar and wait, his gaze occasionally going towards the wall. What was the name of that drink again...?
Later, Luke decides that sitting around and moping isn't going to help him with the pain of missing someone. So, instead, he turns to the journal. ... Now to figure out how to word this properly.]
Um. [Good start. Sort of.] I have something to ask all of you. It's kind of a stupid question, but...
I don't know. Everyone here probably misses someone, so... How do you deal with it? When it gets... bad.
... I'm sorry, I know it's stupid to ask. Just - Forget I said anything, all right?
Uh... [Well, now what does he talk about, with him trying to change the subject and all?] Anyone here play music? The ones I don't see in school, anyway.
[Much better.]
Only days ago, he went to finally get his death penalty removed. It took him a while to recover, and a while before he could get food in his mouth without wanting to throw up, but finally, today, he seems to be okay.
He celebrated during the day with a meal that he could finally taste. It was his favorite, in fact - chicken parmesan. And he ended up shutting his eyes and savoring it, having spent several months without it since it had such a weird texture without taste. It made him truly happy.
And now, in the evening, for the first time ever, he goes to the bar with the intent to get himself his first drink. It's not like he wants to get drunk or anything, but it's merely out of curiosity. A couple months before, Zack had made him a drink, his first one, and Luke did his best to hide that he actually couldn't taste it. Now, though, he wants to see what it was like, more for the memory of Zack grinning and egging him on than anything.
So, once he makes it there, he'll sit at the bar and wait, his gaze occasionally going towards the wall. What was the name of that drink again...?
Later, Luke decides that sitting around and moping isn't going to help him with the pain of missing someone. So, instead, he turns to the journal. ... Now to figure out how to word this properly.]
Um. [Good start. Sort of.] I have something to ask all of you. It's kind of a stupid question, but...
I don't know. Everyone here probably misses someone, so... How do you deal with it? When it gets... bad.
... I'm sorry, I know it's stupid to ask. Just - Forget I said anything, all right?
Uh... [Well, now what does he talk about, with him trying to change the subject and all?] Anyone here play music? The ones I don't see in school, anyway.
[Much better.]
[voice]
[He lets his hand rest on the back of his neck, pursing his lips for a second, before he shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh.] My mother were here for a while, did you know that? But she went away not too long ago. And one of my best friends from a different world went back, too. My guild leader went home; he's the first one I talked to about... mm. And my best friend from home went back to Auldrant.
[Not to mention that his girlfriend, practically a pseudo-fiancée at this point and who was kidnapped for such long time, had completely forgotten who he was for a long two weeks.]
It's just... It's not like they went home one right after the other or anything. But looking back on it... it seems that way.
[voice]
[The volume of his voice drops a bit, as if his voice becomes strained.] ...It hurts. It'll never not hurt, Luke.
[He pauses, taking a breath to calm himself.] ...But, that's the way it should be. If it came down to either being heartbroken over losing someone, and feeling nothing... I'd choose the heartbreak, anytime.
[That's a concept Asbel had to struggle with himself for a while.]
[voice]
[His own voice drops, as he curls his fingers into loose fists.] It's - It's not like I want it to stop hurting. I just... I guess I just want to know what to do. I want to be happy when I think about them, not... sad.
[And after a small pause:] I'm sorry, Asbel, I'm... probably acting really selfish right now. You went through it too and all...
[voice]
It's... hard. [There's a sigh.] It's still hard for me sometimes to not just get really depressed when I think about them. But when I start feeling that way? I just try to think... How would I want people to feel if it was me that was gone?
[His voice takes on a slightly more cheery tone with this next part.] If I wasn't around for my friends anymore, I wouldn't want them to sit around feeling sorry for themselves just because I wasn't there anymore. So the least I can do is try to lead by example.