fabrecation | 028 [Action/Voice]

[It's been a bit of a depressing time for Luke. Xion has her memories again, and everything's been okay - amazing, really, with her... but so many people whom Luke has grown close to have left. His mother, Yuri, Zack, Noel... Guy. For someone who always gets so attached to his friends, it ended up hurting a great deal, more than a lot of other things he's dealt with in this world.

Only days ago, he went to finally get his death penalty removed. It took him a while to recover, and a while before he could get food in his mouth without wanting to throw up, but finally, today, he seems to be okay.

He celebrated during the day with a meal that he could finally taste. It was his favorite, in fact - chicken parmesan. And he ended up shutting his eyes and savoring it, having spent several months without it since it had such a weird texture without taste. It made him truly happy.

And now, in the evening, for the first time ever, he goes to the bar with the intent to get himself his first drink. It's not like he wants to get drunk or anything, but it's merely out of curiosity. A couple months before, Zack had made him a drink, his first one, and Luke did his best to hide that he actually couldn't taste it. Now, though, he wants to see what it was like, more for the memory of Zack grinning and egging him on than anything.

So, once he makes it there, he'll sit at the bar and wait, his gaze occasionally going towards the wall. What was the name of that drink again...?

Later, Luke decides that sitting around and moping isn't going to help him with the pain of missing someone. So, instead, he turns to the journal. ... Now to figure out how to word this properly.]

Um. [Good start. Sort of.] I have something to ask all of you. It's kind of a stupid question, but...

I don't know. Everyone here probably misses someone, so... How do you deal with it? When it gets... bad.

... I'm sorry, I know it's stupid to ask. Just - Forget I said anything, all right?

Uh... [Well, now what does he talk about, with him trying to change the subject and all?] Anyone here play music? The ones I don't see in school, anyway.

[Much better.]

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[It was a stupid thing to ask, because he already feels guilty, and even a little dumb. He doesn't want to remind people of what they've lost, and he doesn't want people to think he doesn't miss any of his other friends who left.

It's just... so many left at once. It's better to feel lonely than indulge in the selfish feeling of being abandoned.]

I guess so... But it's still a good way to think of it. Still... if they come back and they don't remember anything it's... it's like...

[And he trails off there, expression set in a light cringe while he looks away and rests a hand on the back of his neck.

Because it's a lot like it's a new person. And he's suddenly struck with wondering if this what it was like for his family and friends back home, when he was first brought to the manor.]

... No, that's a bad way to think of it. It... hurts, I guess.

[You don't need to remind me what it's like.]

[The words almost come out, but he holds them back, all too aware of just how bitter they would sound. Ion himself has had first-hand experience with that very phenomenon -- and Luke as well. With Luke, for that matter, though Ion didn't have more than a few days to spend with the Luke who had been here previously. He left so soon after Ion first arrived, after all. But in the case of someone like Anise, who had been here for so long before she left the first time...]

You're right. It's painful... but even so, I think I would rather risk that pain than throw away the opportunity to see someone I care about again. Even without their memories, they're still the same person on the inside.

... You're right. I must be sounding kind of selfish right now, huh? Man, I'm hopeless.

[He smiles a little to himself, the expression slightly bitter. He just keeps moping while other people keep those thoughts to themselves, and tough it out. Jeez...]

Like I said, it's stupid. I'm sorry, I know I'll stop thinking about it. It's just that...

[If Luke though he was going to get a chance to finish that sentence after what he just said, he'd be wrong. Though Ion wants to stay positive and try to give Luke something more to hold onto than his current misery, he's become more than a little jaded by the loss of good friends here as well. And it's hard to stay optimistic when all you have are words. Luke's hardly the only one feeling hopeless.]

If anyone deserves to be selfish, it's those who are left behind. Those who have to deal with memories they're just expected to forget... and sometimes memories they have to forget.

[Memories of previous times in Luceti perhaps best left forgotten by those who arrive here with a fresh start. Why cause them unncessary pain when being brought here can be so painful? As much as Ion would like to think of Luceti as his home, there's no denying the fact that most people would rather not be here at all.]

Everyone has a different way of dealing with things like this. There's nothing wrong with thinking about it. I guess in the end, all we can really do is try to hold on until...

[He trails off. That isn't really a sentence he can end, seeing as "going home" carries a far different meaning between Luke and Ion.]

Yeah.

[He knows what Ion means, and he knows why he can't end that sentence, either. These days, Luke almost wishes he didn't know. Hell, he wishes he didn't know a lot of things. But such is life.]

I guess before, I was always able to just... deal with it. And it's been a lot harder recently, every time I think about everyone who went home. [He purses his lips for a moment, before he looks at the journal again.] I should try to figure it out on my own, huh?

That's one way of dealing with it, yes. But there's nothing wrong with depending on the help of others either. I know I don't like to be alone whenever someone close to me is sent home.

[There's an unspoken offer for company in there -- it was true, after all. To have someone there, someone who was still there, provided more than a little comfort in the wake of someone else being sent back to their own world.]

[It's easy enough to get what's being offered here, and he pauses to consider it. He kind of decided to come here to get away from company for a little while, but in the end, he just opened the journal anyway.]

That's not a bad idea. [There's a tiny smile to his voice, mostly due to how much it hurts to do so normally.] Ion, are you busy or anything? It's okay if you are, I just... you know, what you said.

Not at all. [He even smiles -- mostly for Luke accepting the offer so readily.]

Is there somewhere you'd like to meet?

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