fabrecation | 026 [written]

[It's so bad now that Luke feels like he can barely get out of bed except for necessary needs. It's... honestly kind of strange. Sure, he's scared, and sure, he hates having to lay here and just wait for it to happen, despite writing and drawing to pass the time. But he isn't quite as terrified as he was just a month ago.

It's like he's accepted that this is happening in a quiet, somber sort of way.

There's pain every day, he's tired every day, he's thin and pale and looks as if he's just wasting away, as if he's all that's left after tiny pieces of himself slowly just... faded away. Even his hair seemed not quite as full as it ought to be.

He hated it, yes. But it's happening. And he's close to fading away completely, he knows that. Maybe that's why he's mostly okay with this. It can finally be over.

He'd only flipped through the journal to keep track of everyone. Now, though, he can't help being morbidly curious, in a way. So, making sure that he himself is out of sight, he writes slowly to the masses.]

If someone told you that you didn't have much longer to live, what would you do about it? What would you do with the last days of your life?

[It's a question that could be asked even by a curious healthy person, something to get people to think. He can think of it that way, and get answers that he might just need because of it.]

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[...

Heh.

He can't help chuckling at that, albeit while blushing a little. Yeah... He sure can see how that'd be an appealing way to spend your last few days. It helps that he already has a pretty girl to do that with.]

And just stay there until - you know?

It sounds like something a lot of people would do. Spending time with someone... I'd probably do it too.

But wouldn't it be kind of scary? I mean... if they know? [It's sure scared him for several months straight.]

Like... prolonging it, you mean?

[Dist had said something like that, that he'd make medicine to prolong the effects of his illness. But they certainly couldn't stop it, and so Luke would only halfheartedly take them occasionally, in the beginning. Why prolong the inevitable? Not to mention that they made him feel utterly lousy.]

... You probably wouldn't tell them, right? I mean, who'd want to celebrate something like that?

But... yeah. Making the most of it... I'd want to try that, too, I think.

So you probably wouldn't want to think about it, right?

[Which, for Luke, meant not letting people know.]

Yeah... I just think that - I don't know. I don't think I'd want to know if I was going to die soon or whatever. It... just sounds scary. [More like it is scary.]

I'd prefer to know.

Oh, he's a friend of yours? Yellow said she knew him, too... [And after a pause, he can't help a weak little chuckle.] I miss him. He had a lot of good advice for me.

Airbender? What's that supposed to be?

I don't think so... I sure wish there were. I flew around in one a lot back home!

I'm just... not much of a hugger, I guess. They're nice, but...

[Well... Right now especially, it'd feel too much like he was being coddled.]

[ Crys told her how to do this. Yep, looks like it's on. Ikki grins, and demonstrates - have a little air ball trick, isn't that cool? ]

That's what!

You flew airships? Coooool! [ leaning forward. Like right up so her face takes up all the thing. ] Are you a captain?

[He very nearly writes something before lifting his pen up and shutting his eyes.

"I'm not."

But that would just blow his cover wide open, wouldn't it... So, he opens his eyes and writes again.]

I don't think anyone would want to just give up. They'd at least want to make the most of it, you know? Do stuff they never got to do and all that.

...

I'm sorry.

[Well... What else does he say to that? At least the guy didn't seem to be too troubled by it... He wonders if he could do that, too, when he came back.]

But... still. Smiling and laughing with your friends just reminds them that they're losing you, right? At least... it'd seem like it to me.

Why? ... So you can fight against it?

Yes.

I want to know it's coming. I want to be able to face it. Not have it sneak up on me.

[She knew when she was going to die. Or at least that she'd probably die. And she'd known when Thresh had hauled her up. Before she'd ever started screaming, she'd known.]

[Luke is still well out of sight, something he's grateful for. He'd rather not have a kid see him like this either.

But he can at least still see what's she's doing, and it makes his jaw gape a little. Granted, he's seen all kinds of powers, but this is just a kid! Once he gets over that, he has to grin.]

Whoa... How'd you learn that? Are you really bending air?

[And at her next question, his grin turns a little more sheepish, and he leans away from the camera despite him not being seen.] Ah, naaah... I just go along for the ride. You'd want to talk to Ginji about being an airship captain. My pilot's back on Auldrant, but he flew one for a friend.

[ Ikki doesn't really notice. It's not like she's a master of the video function, so she's not that bothered by not being able to see him clearly or anything. Besides, she mostly swapped to show off and then is just...staying. ]

I learned it from my daddy! But I was born an airbender. Yep, I really am! I'm from a world where people bend elements. There's waterbenders and firebenders and earthbenders who are sometimes metalbenders but not always! [ she's perfectly happy to go on and on about this. Or anything. ]

Ginji? I haven't met him! [ ...wait for it... ] Oh, or you! I'm Ikki! What's your name?

That's understandable. It's normal for most peopl

[The writing cuts off suddenly, though Ion's expression only changes just enough to possibly cue why. He just recognized Luke's hand-writing.]

[But he doesn't say anything. Not yet. The writing continues as though he hadn't stopped at all.]

people to be afraid of things they don't know. There aren't [...] many here who know what it's like, after all.

It would be scary. [He hide his fear of death for a long time. He can't afford to show weakness, even if he's wondering about some things.] I don't want to trouble them, but they wouldn't forgive me if I lie to them.

Probably. You'll never know when you might disappear from someone's life. A day's not a long time.

Then it's settled.

[That's a good question. And... sadly one that brings back some unfortunate memories for this kid. But Rudy pushes those thoughts aside, and writes back:]

If there was nothing that could be done about it... I'd find a way to make those days count.

[.....]

You have to weigh between what would make them sad, and what would make them angry.

[On her worst days, she forgets too.]

Well...to my brother, and Saphir and His Majesty, for sure. And to the others who I've become close to, or who matter to me. ...If I found out something like that here I would have quite a bit of writing to do.

I guess so, yeah. Like with a medicine or somethin'. [Just. Probably not like the one he took. That's a completely different story.

And even if it is prolonging the inevitable, it's still death, which.. Heisuke is honestly afraid of. Even if it's just pushing it off, it's better than just giving up and dying, isn't it?]

But I also mean finding something to just prevent it altogether.

Not too hard, anyway. I mean, I'd have to accept it if there was no way out, but I wouldn't dwell on it 'cause that'd just be too sad. And, well, I'd wanna make sure I went out on a high note with no regrets.

Edited 2012-07-05 19:12 (UTC)

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