[replica model] • LUKE FON FABRE (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fabrecation) wrote2012-07-04 03:50 pm
fabrecation) wrote2012-07-04 03:50 pm
026 [written]
[It's so bad now that Luke feels like he can barely get out of bed except for necessary needs. It's... honestly kind of strange. Sure, he's scared, and sure, he hates having to lay here and just wait for it to happen, despite writing and drawing to pass the time. But he isn't quite as terrified as he was just a month ago.
It's like he's accepted that this is happening in a quiet, somber sort of way.
There's pain every day, he's tired every day, he's thin and pale and looks as if he's just wasting away, as if he's all that's left after tiny pieces of himself slowly just... faded away. Even his hair seemed not quite as full as it ought to be.
He hated it, yes. But it's happening. And he's close to fading away completely, he knows that. Maybe that's why he's mostly okay with this. It can finally be over.
He'd only flipped through the journal to keep track of everyone. Now, though, he can't help being morbidly curious, in a way. So, making sure that he himself is out of sight, he writes slowly to the masses.]
If someone told you that you didn't have much longer to live, what would you do about it? What would you do with the last days of your life?
[It's a question that could be asked even by a curious healthy person, something to get people to think. He can think of it that way, and get answers that he might just need because of it.]
It's like he's accepted that this is happening in a quiet, somber sort of way.
There's pain every day, he's tired every day, he's thin and pale and looks as if he's just wasting away, as if he's all that's left after tiny pieces of himself slowly just... faded away. Even his hair seemed not quite as full as it ought to be.
He hated it, yes. But it's happening. And he's close to fading away completely, he knows that. Maybe that's why he's mostly okay with this. It can finally be over.
He'd only flipped through the journal to keep track of everyone. Now, though, he can't help being morbidly curious, in a way. So, making sure that he himself is out of sight, he writes slowly to the masses.]
If someone told you that you didn't have much longer to live, what would you do about it? What would you do with the last days of your life?
[It's a question that could be asked even by a curious healthy person, something to get people to think. He can think of it that way, and get answers that he might just need because of it.]
[voice]
[Dist had said something like that, that he'd make medicine to prolong the effects of his illness. But they certainly couldn't stop it, and so Luke would only halfheartedly take them occasionally, in the beginning. Why prolong the inevitable? Not to mention that they made him feel utterly lousy.]
[voice]
And even if it is prolonging the inevitable, it's still death, which.. Heisuke is honestly afraid of. Even if it's just pushing it off, it's better than just giving up and dying, isn't it?]
But I also mean finding something to just prevent it altogether.
[voice]
But what if... I don't know, there was no cure for it, or something? Would you just spend the rest of your life trying to prevent it?
[voice]
[Or... something. At this point, he's mainly just thinking aloud, really.]
[voice]
[He's quiet while he speaks, and maybe a little weak as well. Luke is more thoughtful than anything... But it's still kind of hard to talk about, especially to try hiding as much as possible.]
I think I'd just want to make people happy. If I can do that... I guess I'd be happy, too. It's better than making them sad over what's happening to me.
[voice]
Yeah, I guess that would be a good thing to do. Kinda fulfilling, too. How would you go about doing that though?
[voice]
[He pauses, resisting that urge to run his hand through his hair.] ... At least, it always worked for me before.