011 [Voice]

[fabrecation]

[Filtered to Guy//Ridiculously hackable Unhackable]

Hey, Guy? My hair's getting kind of long... Could you come cut it for me? I'd do it myself, but I can't really see back there...


[Filtered to Ion//So hackable it hurts Unhackable]

Ion, can I talk to you? It's important.

[/Filter]


[Now that those are out of the way, Luke rests his chin in his hand and stares off to the side, lost in thought. The thing he wanted to talk to Ion about... It's been weighing heavily on his mind ever since he heard it. Luke isn't sure what to think of it, or even how to feel about it. There's a sort of happiness inside him, sure, but... he can't deny the hesitation and confusion he feels. So, after a few minutes, he opens up the journal again to ask the general populace:]

What do you think it means to have a soul?

Comments

[fabrecation]

... Huh?!

[STANDS UP] I don't- It's not a crush! It's... I don't think it is...

[And he slooowly starts to sit down.] ... Is it? I mean, I thought a crush was like... I thought it'd be obvious!

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

[It is when you're not an IDIOT.]

Well, sometimes these things can just sneak up on you.

[fabrecation]

[And once Luke is finally seated, he stares ahead of him - past Guy, as it finally, finally dawns on him. That feeling when one of the maids - Sylvia, would take care of him when Guy couldn't. That feeling he occasionally gets around Tear.

That's a crush?]

... I have a crush on Xion.

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

Looks like.

[Guy just chews his food, fork dangling in his grip as he sets Luke with an even look.]

[fabrecation]

[That makes Luke's gaze snap to Guy, and the reality of the situation crashes on him. He lets out a long groan and drops his face in his hands. Why her? Why now? Was that why he wanted to see Xion laugh and smile, to hold her when she cried? Was that why he was almost happy when she broke up with Riku?]

Damn it. Why did I have to...

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

Whoa, whoa.

[Guy reaches across the table and raps on Luke's plate with his fork.]

Relax, Luke. The last feeling you want to approach this sort of thing with is despair.

[fabrecation]

[The noise is enough to surprise Luke into looking up at Guy again, and he drops his hands into his lap and looks off to the side.]

But she's my friend! I can't just...

[How is he supposed to talk to her when his feelings keep getting in the way? But he's not sure how to articulate that...]

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

You don't have to do anything, first of all. If you don't want to pursue something with Xion, don't. It'll be hard, but honestly it'll be less complicated that way too.

[Guy returns to his food.]

Your first step is to calm down.

[fabrecation]

[Luke would try returning to his food if you made something besides vegetables. Instead, he does the exact opposite of what Guy tells him to do and looks at him sharply again.]

How am I supposed to calm down?!

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

[Hey there's chicken in there, eat that. And eat some of your vegetables too, no woman likes a fussy eater.]

Deep breaths, and stop thinking horrible destructive thoughts like "what am I gonna do?" and "this ruins everything!" and "what if she notices and hates me" and "this is the worst thing that could happen," etcetera, so on and so forth.

I'm gonna help you with this Luke, but I can't do anything if you're too busy running yourself into the ground over it.

[fabrecation]

[Wow, Guy, you were pretty much right on the spot for every thought going through Luke's mind right now. That fact makes his expression relax into mild surprise, though he knows he shouldn't be - Guy's always had this knack for reading him like a book.

Maybe Guy can help with this after all. Luke takes in a deep breath, then lets it out in a sigh as he takes his fork and starts to push his food around again. Looks like he's trying to find what little pieces of chicken are in there - even though they're touching the veggies, eww.]

Okay... Okay.

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

[Guy rubs his forehead briefly; okay, now to remember how it is to be young and with a crush again. Back to St. Binah. He's nine years old. Annabelle down the street is so pretty and nice.]

All right.

Basically, there's no need for you to rush to sort all of this out. No hurry, no deadline for this kind of thing, so don't feel like you have to do something.

[fabrecation]

Then what do I do? Act like I'm not feeling anything?

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say "don't feel anything," I just said "don't rush."

And acknowledge that any feelings you have aren't wrong. There is no such thing; feelings can't be right or wrong, they just are. So don't beat yourself up over something you can't control.

[fabrecation]

[No longer trying to find something to eat in the veggie pile, Luke just pushes his plate away and lowers his head to the table, burying his hands in his hair. His appetite's lost now, which breaks his heart, but this is much more serious than food. At least Guy's words make Luke look less upset than he did a moment ago and more exasperated and frustrated with himself.]

Guy... A while ago, Xion... broke up with someone. He was a jerk, but... still. Is it bad that I felt happy over it? How can you say it's not wrong when I go around feeling like that?

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

Hmm...I don't know if I'd call that bad. It's natural that you'd feel happy over it.

How long ago did she break up with him though?

[fabrecation]

Well, I... think they actually broke up a long time ago. But they kept having these fights about it, and then... A couple of weeks ago? It got so bad that they had a real, actual fight. I think getting that out of themselves made it a little better, though.

She told me she didn't want to be with him anymore, so... ["There's that", but damn it, Luke shouldn't say stuff like that.]

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

So what? So that's what the lady said. Believe her.

[fabrecation]

I do believe her, it's just that... [Luke lets his arms drop in front of him while he lifts his head enough to rest his chin against the table. He looks terribly confused, maybe a little scared and worried.] Why should I be happy over something like a break up? I don't like feeling that way, Guy... Aren't break ups bad?

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

And the fact that you're saying that is proof enough that you're a good person, Luke.

Believe me, most people don't even give it a second thought.

[fabrecation]

[... Is that really true? That little revelation makes Luke's eyes widen a bit, then he focus his attention lower, to Guy's plate, just to look ahead of him. Luke hadn't even thought of it that way... So he's not a bad person for thinking that way? It's hard to make Luke think otherwise, considering he thinks he's a bad person overall, but... it's starting to get through a little.]

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

...besides, breakups aren't always bad. Sure, they can be messy and painful, but so's cleaning a wound out. Sometimes it just has to be done in order for someone to heal.

[Guy finishes his stir fry and stands to take his plate to the sink.]

[fabrecation]

Really? [Luke's always heard it the other way around: a breakup means... well, breaking up a loving relationship. The exact opposite of happily ever after. He watches after Guy, still keeping his head on the table.]

... I guess so. He said some pretty mean things to her. ["Maybe if you lived a normal life"... He can't imagine someone close to him saying something like that.]

[count-gardios.livejournal.com]

Then it's obvious they weren't happy together and they're probably better off apart. [Guy's not just going to assume Mr. Mysterious Previous Boyfriend is completely at fault, but it looks like Luke is. Hopefully he's right.]