fabrecation | 026 [written]

[It's so bad now that Luke feels like he can barely get out of bed except for necessary needs. It's... honestly kind of strange. Sure, he's scared, and sure, he hates having to lay here and just wait for it to happen, despite writing and drawing to pass the time. But he isn't quite as terrified as he was just a month ago.

It's like he's accepted that this is happening in a quiet, somber sort of way.

There's pain every day, he's tired every day, he's thin and pale and looks as if he's just wasting away, as if he's all that's left after tiny pieces of himself slowly just... faded away. Even his hair seemed not quite as full as it ought to be.

He hated it, yes. But it's happening. And he's close to fading away completely, he knows that. Maybe that's why he's mostly okay with this. It can finally be over.

He'd only flipped through the journal to keep track of everyone. Now, though, he can't help being morbidly curious, in a way. So, making sure that he himself is out of sight, he writes slowly to the masses.]

If someone told you that you didn't have much longer to live, what would you do about it? What would you do with the last days of your life?

[It's a question that could be asked even by a curious healthy person, something to get people to think. He can think of it that way, and get answers that he might just need because of it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...not a very cheerful topic, was it?]

[Perhaps it's because the camera is covered, or perhaps it's just that he's not paying much attention outside of the question, but Ion doesn't immediately associate the handwriting with Luke. His answer is just a bit more honest because of it.]

Live each day just like any other day. I wouldn't want the people I care about to worry about me. [...] Though it's difficult to say how one would act until they actually have to face such a thing.

[... Heh.]

I'd probably do the same thing. I don't want people being sad or worried... But I think it'd just scare me even more too, you know?

Edited 2012-07-05 02:24 (UTC)

That's understandable. It's normal for most peopl

[The writing cuts off suddenly, though Ion's expression only changes just enough to possibly cue why. He just recognized Luke's hand-writing.]

[But he doesn't say anything. Not yet. The writing continues as though he hadn't stopped at all.]

people to be afraid of things they don't know. There aren't [...] many here who know what it's like, after all.

Yeah.

[Luke can't see Ion's expression change, though he wouldn't know why otherwise. Despite not being seen, he pretty much thinks everyone knows who it is. He's only staying out of sight just to hide how he looks, after all.]

It sounds like it'd be hard to hide. But I'd still try... I wouldn't want them to worry so much about me. They should be happy, not... sad all the time, or something.

But hiding it would probably scare me too, because of what you said.

[...] Would you want to do anything worthwhile? That's what a lot of people are saying here.

[They would still be sad afterwards, wouldn't they? It was a reality Ion knew and understood, despite his answer. But then, Ion didn't say anything about hiding the truth. Only hiding his feelings on the matter. Trying to hide that it's happening at all would be...]

[It's a good thing this is written and not voiced right now. The words come easier when it's just writing.]

I can't think of anything more worthwhile than spending time with the people I care about.

Even though I wouldn't want them to worry about me, it's easier when you're not alone.

You think so? I don't know... I feel like I'd just make everyone sad if I had someone with me.

[The way Xion would look at him sometimes. The way Guy looked after he sat with him during a separation episode...

It always reminded him of what was to come. It always made him want to withdraw further into his little shell.]

Be that as it may, I think they would rather be a little sad now, rather than look back and wish they had spent more time with you.

They'd feel better knowing you weren't trying to deal with everything on your own.

[...] Or at least, that how I think they would feel.

Edited 2012-07-11 22:08 (UTC)

[...]

I think them staying happy would be enough for me. [As in, dealing with something on his own.]

At least, that's how I'd feel.

[Ion stares at the page for a long while. Although it's not written, "I don't want to tell you" seems heavily implied.]

[But what is it he doesn't want to tell? Ion doesn't know if this is real or not. It could be about a friend, it could be about Luke, or it could very well just be a hypothetical situation for no particular reason.]

[Either way, the last thing he wants to do is badger Luke about his answer.]

I can understand that. It's difficult to tell people something when you know it would only hurt them. Perhaps especially if it's something important.

[There's a pause before Luke writes any more.]

Yeah.

[And now, on to other things.]

Sorry for talking about such depressing things... How've you been doing, Ion? ~~Did things~~ [As he realizes that might be a topic Ion does not want to approach. "Did things work out with Anise?"]

It's all right. [A pause.] ~~I'm~~

[It's almost frightening how easy it is to fall right into telling lies. Luke is keeping something from him -- that much is obvious -- but even so Ion couldn't bring himself to hold it against him. After all, Ion was the one who made that promise never to lie to Luke again. Whether or not Luke chose to follow suit was his business and his alone.]

I've been better. Though it's nothing that shouldn't resolve itself after a little time.

You wanna talk about it? Even if it does get better, talking might still help a little.

[... Just as long as they don't talk face to face. Luke hates even looking at himself in the mirror now.]

026 [written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]

[Written]