[Honestly, Luke would be happy to talk about all that. Well... not exactly happy. But he'd be willing to do it, and maybe be a little uncomfortable, yet still work his way through it. If that's what Guy wanted to know, then he'd tell him. He knows he'd want answers if he suddenly saw scars all over his friend's arms, too. It's not all of that that bothers him this much.
It's that Guy is from that time, a time that Luke frequently has nightmares about, a time that so drastically changed him. A time that felt hopeless and crushing and lonely, a time that Luke will never forget in the back of his mind.
He keeps his back to Guy, and he gives a stiff nod.]
Mm.
[After a pause, though, he shuts his eyes tightly - sees a corpse with a disfigured face thanks to his skull being crushed by the fall no no - and jerks his head to the side.]
I've changed, Guy. [His voice wavers, and his fists clench and shake.] When you get back, I'm going to find out a lot of things about myself, even though I might not want to hear it. I'll finally realize that Akzeriuth was my fault... all of it. And I'll want to change. I'll have to. I'm going to stop letting people pull me along and never listen to anything else. I'll do everything I can to make people happy, or at least put as much effort into it as I can.
[... It's easier, saying that. That he's changed. That he will change in Guy's time. That he'll start to attempt atoning for everything he's done, even though he knows it's impossible. He starts to relax, finally.]
... That's why I'm like this. Why my hair's short, why I'm... probably acting a little weird. [He quirks the side of his lip up in a half smile. There's nothing behind it, though.] Sorry if I freaked you out.
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It's that Guy is from that time, a time that Luke frequently has nightmares about, a time that so drastically changed him. A time that felt hopeless and crushing and lonely, a time that Luke will never forget in the back of his mind.
He keeps his back to Guy, and he gives a stiff nod.]
Mm.
[After a pause, though, he shuts his eyes tightly - sees a corpse with a disfigured face thanks to his skull being crushed by the fall no no - and jerks his head to the side.]
I've changed, Guy. [His voice wavers, and his fists clench and shake.] When you get back, I'm going to find out a lot of things about myself, even though I might not want to hear it. I'll finally realize that Akzeriuth was my fault... all of it. And I'll want to change. I'll have to. I'm going to stop letting people pull me along and never listen to anything else. I'll do everything I can to make people happy, or at least put as much effort into it as I can.
[... It's easier, saying that. That he's changed. That he will change in Guy's time. That he'll start to attempt atoning for everything he's done, even though he knows it's impossible. He starts to relax, finally.]
... That's why I'm like this. Why my hair's short, why I'm... probably acting a little weird. [He quirks the side of his lip up in a half smile. There's nothing behind it, though.] Sorry if I freaked you out.